Grace is gone

Director by James C. Strouse

This is a story regarding a family’s grief, and how this family with different personalities come together to cope with the grief and mourn over the death of their beloved one. Director chose to shared something intimate within a family to shared across to let audience witness the truth of reality. This is not a story regarding right or wrong but its a movie about grief and sometimes we just need to let intuition led us.

It hits audience from the first place when Stanley can't even move out of denial and it is totally understandable right from Stanley opens the door to find two officers from the Army base. Stanley is ex-Army himself and this is the only time in his life he has ever been unhappy to see the uniform. Because he knows what it means. 

The moment he saw them, he left in state of shock and could not response in a moment at the same time he is afraid to awake his daughters. He do not let the officers in because he afraid his daughters might come down but then he still let them in to let situation a bit clearer to let him shaped his mind. Yet as long as he doesn't tell their daughters what happened, it hasn't really happened yet. He even reject and do not let the officer to pray with him, he is in a state of denial or delay a few moments to not accept the death of his wife.

We all know Stanley from the moment he walks into the first scene, stiff and awkward in his own skin, it's not that Stanley doesn't feel, it's that he doesn't show. He then knew he need to take up the role to raise his two daughters without her wife at the same time he knew her daughters have closer relationship with her wife instead of him. He confirmed he need to formed a good relationship with his daughters first before disclosing to them, at least Heidi and Dawn felt that they have someone close to them to shared this grief with. Very well-thoughts and meticulous in thinking his daughters feelings as well as coping his grief over his wife.

So Stanley takes them on an impulsive, indulgent road trip to Florida. And he bites his tongue, and smiles, and whenever they're not around he calls home, just to hear their dead mother's voice on the answering machine. He is trying to linked or have relations back with his death one by hearing Grace's voice and in a meanwhile hope Grace will tell him what to do because he is too afraid to screw this up and his daughters might hate him forever.

Before the day, he feeling a bit depressed so he decided to attends a support group for soldier's wives, he mentioned that he is proud of her. Stan and Grace met while they were both in basic training and over the years have created a good marriage based on friendship. He misses her decision-making abilities and her closeness to their daughters.

This has come up with a tender and touching story about family, grief, and the challenges faced by a nervous and sad father who feels his way slowly into a deeper relationship with his daughters. Stanley has been doing his best, we sense, providing some order for his children, but he is not naturally nurturing. He's concerned about Heidi, who, like him, is fun challenged and is having trouble sleeping. He knows Dawn misses sharing important moments with her mom, which becomes apparent when she hides out in a little house in a store just after she has her ears pierced.

There are stages of grief, and Stanley goes through shock and numbness, accepting the reality of the loss, and beginning to work through the pain. Although some, including his brother, think it's wrong that he delayed telling his daughters, he seems to know that until he can face it and until the girls have come to know him in a different way, he will be no help to them in their grief. Instead of following social customs about death and grieving, we have to trust our intuition. There is a right place and a right time for everything.

That stage of life is dramatically one of the most fraught with all sorts of complications and emerging consciousness. Heidi is bursting with confusion and emotion and her father is trying to bury it as much as he can. What she was doing when she wasn’t talking was really subtle, always small. She would never overdo it, an amazing instinct to have. When she called back their house phone, she knew something was wrong but she knew her father is planning on something and she knew if he does he must have a very good reason so she never probe questions anymore further.

And when the time finally comes Stanley tell his children the truth, grieving over until the sunsets and i loved how they watch chime moment in front of Grace's graveyard and the family spent a moment of each and every living day thinking about her.

And you can't really understand the essence of agonizing unless you have had the experience of living through them yourself.